Adventures of The Heart- Hawk Mountain Edition

This past October 13, marked the 18th anniversary of my dad being Killed In Action in Mosul Iraq.  Our family misses my dad every day, but somedays and sad anniversaries are harder than others.  This year, hit me a little harder as I quickly approached my 40th Birthday.  You see, I have done the math, my dad was only 44 years old when he was killed.  When it happened, I was young, I knew he was young, and it was a tragedy to our family, no matter his age.  But, I now understand as a 40 year old, how young my parents REALY were, how they were just getting started, how many dreams they had, and how our time together is so precious and fragile.  

So, I was missing my dad a little more than usual as the 18th anniversary of his passing came and went...

I could feel those old familiar feelings of sadness start to loom, and while I did my best to push on, I could not full escape the weight of my emotions.  My heart told me to: Surround Myself in Nature, Climb a Mountain, and Wait for The Birds of Prey to Soar overhead.  I am not fully sure if it was the quiet and beauty that would help me heal, or if I was trying to somehow feel closer to my dad on the mountain top… maybe a little of both.  But, I am so glad that I listened to the whispers of my heart, because this day in October & what turned out to be a crazy adventure, did not disappoint!  It definitely achieved core memory status for our entire family!

Before, I share the adventure, I HAVE TO SHOUT OUT my Hubby & Little Girls… Thank you for abiding my requests to hike on this solemn weekend and trekking up the mountain with me! We will be laughing, and reminiscing about this day for years to come!

To my little ladies, YOU GIRLS are ABSOLUTE ROCK STARS! Though it is not without complaint, you take on any adventure/challenge we throw your way, so long as ice cream is awaiting you! Now you can add to your "I Survived List," right next to Bushkill Falls' Red Trail, The Skyline Trail at Hawk Mountain!

We DID IT!

The Cautionary Tale below

There were a few moments of fear, uncertainty, regret, determination, terror, and all-encompassing PRIDE once we knew we survived it & completed it before the sun went down!

There is nothing quite like embarking on a late afternoon, unknown hike with littles and having several moments of doubt about your decision to move forward, but really having no other choice!

When we set out on this hike the park map mentioned the "inner loop" as a 3-mile hike and gave specific instructions about trail crossings. This was a new trail for us, but we hiked the rugged and steep orange trail before, so I thought I knew what we were in for, and 3 miles seemed completely doable for our little ladies!

As soon as we turned off the Orange Trail, onto the River Rocks Trail, I was in HEAVEN!! We lost the crowds and seemed to be on our own secret wooded trail, and it was beautiful and magical! The girls were having a blast as we hiked gradually down the hillside!

After some descent we came to a crossroads at The Escarpment Trail where we were greeted by a warning sign, mentioning the length of the trail, equipment required and the level of difficulty. This sign gave us pause, and Tam said we should turn off onto the Escarpment Trail to travel back to the Orange Trail lookouts, because the sign warned to allow 4-5 hours for the River Rocks Loop!

But, the Secret Forrest Trail was calling my name... I was excited to explore something new! I reminded Tam that we were not traveling the entire length of the River Rocks Trail, and that we were only on it for a bit, and that the entire Inner Loop was only 3 miles!

So, when a couple appeared on the crossroad, we chit chatted a bit. They were headed to the Escarpment trail, they said they were warned by a park ranger that somewhere along the river rocks trail there was a 30-foot drop to traverse!  That concerned me, but I thought: “that CAN NOT be on our Inner Loop, because there was no mention of it on our map next to the Inner Loop!”  We were still hesitating on how to proceed, when another family hiked UP the River Rocks Trail (known to me as "The Secret Forrest Trail"), coming from the direction we had planned to travel! I asked them if they just came from the Inner Loop, and if they thought we could do it with our two littles?!

They panted, while out of breath from their recent steep climb up the mountain, but they seemed to be certain that we could do it. They mentioned that there were just a few steep spots that we may need to boost the kiddos up, but, other than those few spots, we should be good to go. Tam and I looked at each other and nodded in agreement that we could sure give the kiddos a few boosts!

So ONWARD, we traveled down the mountain side on the River Rocks Trail!  Down, Down, Down we traveled, when the reality that we would eventually be hiking back up, began to sink in! We were all still in good spirits and enjoying the beautiful woods, with just a hint of worry about how long we were hiking down the rocky mountain, but still had not come to the next cross trail, since it was later in the afternoon!  Cora made up games and songs to pass the time hiking, and FINALLY, after 20 minutes, we hit our next cross trail, the Golden Eagle Trail! We were relieved to be onto the next section as we knew the Fall Sun would set quickly! It was about 4PM at this point, but we didn't know how long it would take to hike the 3 miles with the girls, how rugged the trail conditions would be, nor how steep the inclines would be, all affecting how long the hike would take us to complete!  But, we kept pressing on.

At this point I was fully enjoying the gorgeous views, but conscious of keeping the girls moving at a brisk pace, so we didn't get caught on the wrong side of the sunset! Ada kept busy spotting our next trail markers, but Cora's incessant singing had given way to apathy. We tried to encourage her progress, distract, make up games, and generally be silly... We were met by the same monotone response: "I Don't Care!" (Imagine the old funny videos about the new iphone enthusiast who is excited about all the new features and lists all the reasons why they need it, while the apathetic non-iphone user repeatedly says: "I don't care") THAT WAS CORA, while we hiked up the entire mountain! Of course, that just gave us more fodder for our antics!

When we FINALLY reached the top of the ridge line, we were all so excited and again relieved to be onto the last leg of our loop! We made it to the Skyline Trail, and celebrated with a dance, a laugh, and a much, needed drink break! The trail ahead LOOKED pretty flat, and we began letting the girls know how awesome they were for hiking up that mountain, and reassuring their tired minds that we were almost done with our loop trail!

THEN (cue ominous music - DUN DUN DUUUUUN), we came upon a boulder pile that loomed over us with the sun cresting behind it, further highlighting the size of the pile and the hour in the day!

At first, I saw ladies climbing the side of this mini mountain, and my stomach dropped, but then I thought they were just taking a recreational photo, surely the trail didn't ACTUALLY go UP those boulders!

We paused for some photos, having convinced ourselves, that the trail must have followed a flat path, alongside, and behind the boulders.  HOWEVER, we quickly realized that the trail markers ACTUALLY, DID TRAVEL UP, and AROUND the Pile of boulders!

Instant regret struck my brain, “WHY THE HELL DID I TAKE THIS PATH?!  WHY DID I THINK WE COULD DO IT?! OMG?! WHAT DO WE DO?! CAN WE TURN BACK?!”  Then I realized we were 3/4 of the way through our hike, and that there was NO WAY that we could turn back and make it out before the sunset! SO, ONWARD!

As I tried to, "Silenzio Bruno" my scared mind, we hiked UP the Stinkin' Boulders, around dark caverns, and steep crevices, while Cora kept excitedly exclaiming that she wanted to know if there were bats in the caves we just shimmied passed!  I mean, I like bats too, but my brain was preoccupied with: "how crazy will this trail get, and how long it will it be this way, WHAT HAVE I DONE, and WHAT WAS NEXT?”

We made it up and around the first giant pile of boulders, with Ada on Tam's back & a backpack on his front side, while I safely guided Cora up & around the boulders.  BUT, next, we had a steep crevice to traverse with 2 kids and the backpack!

We decided it was best if I took the backpack, but I forgot to account for my fear of height.  As I tried to cross the crevice with the backpack on my back, I realized that the extra weight on my back felt like it was pulling me backwards, and it made me very nervous to cross the crevice!  So, we found a safe spot to rest the backpack, where we could easily reach once crossing without any counterweights pulling me backwards! I made it across and guided Cora across while holding onto her tightly, and Tam backpacked Ada to the other side!

We had overcome our first two obstacles on the Skyline Trail, and we HOPED that was the worst of it!  Next we scrambled up another small hill of smaller boulders and large rocks. We began to catch glimpses of a bird's eye view of mountains and valleys around us!  It suddenly became apparent that we were hiking on the spine of the mountain!  The feeling and view were equally terrifying and magical!

 There wasn't much time for stopping to take in the sights, aside from a few quick photos at flat safe points, because the unknown trail ahead was looming large in my mind again, being chased by the thought of the setting sun!

ONWARD, UP & DOWN boulder faces, rugged rocky steps, all while continually reminding the girls to use 5 points, HANDS, FEET & BUTTS to get up and down this crazy trail! We had worked out a system: I guided Cora, pointing out lose rocks, held her hand and arm, once I made it to sturdy point, while Tam guided, hoisted, boosted, and sometimes piggy backed Ada! Each time we surpassed a climb or curve, I would advise Tam about what lie ahead!

Just as we overcame one challenging passage, we were led on by a seemingly easier section, and the HOPE that the hardest was behind us! BUT, each time, the next challenge was MORE DIFFICULT, and STEEP!

FINALLY, we spiraled up the steepest climb, YET, using our hands, feet, knees, and elbows, which was punctuated by ONE FINAL GIANT CLIMB UP, using knees and a rock grip to hoist myself to the top of a LARGE rock...

When I reached the top, I turned around to help Cora and then Ada, and finally, Tam, up the rock face, when I noticed we were rock climbing up the peak of the mountain! I side eyed a SWEEPING & BREATH TAKING VIEW of the ENTIRE VALLEY..., had ONE SPLIT SECOND of AWE, followed by knee buckling terror (remember I am afraid if heights, and as far as my brain was concerned I was teetering on the edge of a cliff side), followed by these thoughts: "I HAVE to get the girls safely up here, and I don't want them to have my knee buckling reaction, so JUST DO IT! DON'T LOOK! "

There were two challenges to this last leg: 1. I had to get both girls safely up to my level, 2. I had to get them to cross a steep crevice on two vertically oriented rocks, by themselves, so that I could help each person up the ledge!

First, I somehow managed to get Cora safely up, then the REALLY TRICKY & SCARY PART: I had to hold her with one hand, simultaneously letting go of the rock that I was white knuckling to steady myself, so that she could cross in front of me.  Then, I had to hold her hand while she traversed the vertical rock crevice! I told Cora to hold onto my waist TIGHTLY, while I let go of the rock, and let her duck under my arm, so she could move on to cross the two vertical rocks behind me! She made it!! I instructed her to sit down on the rock on the other side of the crevice, while I repeated the same steps with Ada (this process MAY HAVE taken years off of my life!) Finally, I extended a hand to bring Tam up the ledge!  PHEW!!!! We all made it up safely!!

We all paused for a moment to take in the view and revel in our latest victory! We were put, slightly at ease, by the muffled sound of many voices ahead, but there were still boulders blocking our view overhead, so one more step up and around a corner to discover we had MADE IT to the promise land!

ONE PROBLEM.... There was another VERTICAL, TALL rock to somehow climb and my stubby legs were too short to step up, there was NOWHERE to grip, and the two potential alternative paths were blocked by people basking in the glory of the mountain top! Thankfully a group of teenagers saw our predicament and offered a hand to give me a pull up! From there, myself, the nice stranger, and Tam helped boost & hoist the kiddos & Tam up to the last ledge!!

THAT IS WHEN, I no longer felt like I was swinging from a cliff side, and was on solid, albeit, rocky, but solid, WIDE ground at the ridge top! We all STOPPED AND WONDERED IN AWE at the AMAZING VIEW, ALL AROUND US!!!

I quickly, confirmed with the teens that the path ahead was less difficult! WE FINALLY MADE IT!!!

We all could, FINALLY enjoy the view we worked so hard to discover! At the summit we rested, took many photos, laughed about what we just overcame, and marveled at a Bald Eagle soaring overhead!

On our trek back down (THE LESS RUGGED TRAIL), we came across the "warning sign" for the Skyline Trail! (read on for that I promise this journey is almost over)

After laughing and photographing the warning sign, we happily took the "Express Trail" back down the ridge! The trip down was accompanied by tired complaints and pleas for Spicy Noodles & Ice Cream!  To which we happily obliged, after enjoying each look out, one more time before dragging our tired butts back to the car!

When all was said and done, I examined both sides of the map closer to find that the details of the trails we would cross, were listed separately in a specific trail section, not under the loop directions, which encompassed several sections of different trails!

We certainly EARNED our Glorious View!! My version of Monday Morning Quarterbacking, revealed that we actually hiked a 600 foot Vertical Descent on the River Rocks Trail, followed by and 800 foot Vertical Rise back UP the mountain on The Golden Eagle Trail, and the final, and most terrifying section (for those of us scared of heights and responsible for the lives of others), The Skyline Trail which is a "rugged ridgetop trail following the spine of the Kittantinny Mountain... The difficult trail includes 4-point rock scrambling (we renamed this: 7 POINT rock scrambling, because BOTH Hands, Feet, Knees & BUTTS, are required for survival at some places!), and is recommended only for experienced hikers - Just off the North Look Out is a 30-foot VERITICAL DESCENT!” (ASSENT for Us)

As for The North Look Out, well we could have taken the slightly less physically challenging orange trail, but that view would not have hit the same! 1,521-foot elevation, 200 Degree Panoramic View of 70 miles of peaks and Valleys, with a Bald Eagle awaiting our arrival!

This was a day we will not soon forget, and I know my dad was there, letting us know we could do it, making sure we were safe, calming my nerves, and waving a wing as the Eagle soared above (I could almost hear "Free Bird" in the wind)!

What a day, What an Adventure, What a Journey of Self Discovery! I this memory with my family & know that I was sent on this Wonderful Adventure, on THIS EXACT DAY, because it is Exactly what I NEEDED, and where I needed to be!  I will be basking in it’s glory for a long time, so I guess you could say that saying: “I am Grateful for this Adventure,” is a massive understatement!

The whispers of my heart telling me to climb a mountain and seek out nature, helped me turn Deep Sorrow into Growth, Triumph, Love, Closeness, and Gratefulness!!  I don’t think that I could ask for much more! Ahhhh, yes, nature heals!💜